I don’t want to join the army

Chorus:
I don’t want to join the Army
I don’t want to go to War
I’d rather hang around Pick a lilly on the ground
Living off the earnings of a high born lady

I don’t want a bullet up my asshole
I don’t want my buttocks shot away
I’d rather stay in Holland
In merry merry Holland
And fornicate my bloody life away.

Verses:
Monday I touched her on the ankles,
Tuesday I touched her on the knees,
On Wednesday, with success, I lifted up her dress,
Thursday morning oh how slimy
Friday I put my finger on it,
Saturday I gave it a little twitch
On Sunday after supper, I rammed my fucker up her,
And now I’m paying forty bucks a week