Jesus Can’t Play Rugby

(sung to the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” a.k.a. “Glory, Glory Hallelujah”)

Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause his dad’ll fix the game,
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause his dad’ll fix the game,
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause his dad’ll fix the game
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.

Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Free Beer for all the ruggers,
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.

Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause he’s got illegal head gear, (3x)
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.

Free Beer for all the ruggers, (3x)
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.

Other verses:
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause he’s only got twelve men
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause his cross will get stuck in a ruck
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause his sandals have no studs….
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause he’s got some open wounds
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause he’s got illegal toe cleats
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause the ball goes through his hands
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause he’s nailed to the
uprights
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause he isn’t wearing cleats
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause the devil is the ref
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause the jew won’t pay his dues
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause the motherfucker is dead

Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause, the goal posts give him flashbacks
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause, He can’t support a hooker
Jesus can’t play Rugby ’cause, He wears illegal spikes
Jesus CAN play Rugby ’cause he turns water into wine
Mary is a Virgin, Yeah we heard that one before
Jesus can’t play Touch ’cause his arms point both ways

Last verse:
all sittin on your knees
Jesus we’re only kidding,
Jesus we’re only kidding,
Jesus we’re only kidding,
Jesus saves Jesus saves Jesus sa-ves.