The woodpecker song

(Sung to “Dixie”)

I put my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Take it out. take it out, take it out,
REMOVE IT.”

I removed my finger from a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Put it back. put it back. put it back,
REPLACE IT.”

I replaced my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Turn it around, turn it around, turn it around,
REVOLVE IT.”

I revolved my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Turn it back, turn it back, turn it back.
REVERSE IT.”

I reversed my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
In and out, in and out, in and out,
RECIPROCATE IT.”

I reciprocated my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Speed it up, speed it up, speed it down.
ACCELERATE IT.”

I accelerated my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Slow it down, slow it down, slow it down,
RETARD IT.”

I retarded my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Once again, once again, once again,
REPEAT IT.”

I repeated my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Leave it in, leave it in, leave it in,
RELAX IT,”

I released my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Pull it out, pull it out, pull it out,
RETRACT IT.”

I retracted my finger from a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Take a whiff, take a whiff, take a whiff,
REVOLTING.”