Wild West Show

Oh, we´re off to see the wild west show
The elephant and the kangeroo
Never mind the weather
As long as we´re together
We´re off to see the wild west show

In the first cage we have the laughing hyena
(Everybody: Amazing, incredible! What the fuck an animal is that?!?!)
This animal lives way up on the moutains
Once, every year, it comes down to drink
Once, every two year, it comes down to drink
And once, every three years, it comes down to have a sexual intercourse
But why is he laughing then ?
Because tonight, it´s THE night !

In the second cage, ladies and gentleman,
We have the Urang-Utang
Well the Urang-Utang lives in the deep jungle of Borneo
And he has two enormous balls,
One of iron, the other of brass
So when he jumps from one tree to another
His balls go: urang-u-tang, urang-u-tang.

In the third cage, ladies and gentleman,
We have the constipated elephant
Well, the elephant has an enormous appetite
In one day it eats two tons of hay.
One dozen bunches of bananas and twenty buckets of rice
And fifty pounds of prunes to cure his constipation.
Madam, don´t stand to near the animal´s backside !
Madam, Madam,….too late. George dig her out,
And if she´s still alive, give her her money back.

In the fourth cage, ladies and gentleman,
We have the little Oo-Ah-bird.
The little Oo-Ah-bird ?
What the fucking hell is that ?
Well, the little Oh-Ah-bird is a small bird,
Which lays big, square eggs.
So, every time it lays an egg, it shouts:
Oo-Ah, Oo-Ah !

And in the next cage we have the winky-wanky-bird.
By some strange incident, the nervous system of
This birds eyelids is connected to its foreskin
So, every time it winks, it wanks, and
every time it wanks, its winks.
You boy, stop throwing sand in the birds eyes.

And here we have the fff-fff-fff-bird.
This bird flies at tremendous hights.
Then suddenly it takes a dive straight to the earth.
One yard above the ground it opens it´s wings
And just one inch above the ground it takes a turn
While saying: ” That was fff-fff-fff- fucking close.

And in the next cage we have the: oei-oei-me balls-bird
This bird is a bird with very short leggs and very bigg balls
And every time it lands it yells:
“Oei-oei-me balls, Oei-oei-me balls” !

And here we have the leopard.
Yes, on it´s coat the leopard has one spot for every day of the year.
What about a leap year ?
“George, lift up the animals tail”.

And in the next cage we have the pi-balled pony.
This is a strange, very small animal, because it has
Balls which are exactly 3,14159 inches big.

And here we have a very rare creature;
It´s a member of the Where-for-the-fuck-are-we tribe.
The Where-for-the-fuck-are-we tribe are very short people
Who live in Africa in very long grass.
So every time you can see them jumping:
“Where-for-the-fuck-are-we,
where-for-the-fuck-are-we !”

And in the last cage we have the lama
The lama is an animal which lives in the mountains
Of South America, and each time when it gets angry,
It does …………..

The last animal of the show, ladies and gentleman,
We have the Bye-bye bird.
Well the Bye-bye bird sits on the gate
And every time someone leaves it says:
“Oh, piss off”.