The laughing Champions massacred the Betuwe RFC in Enschede on a spring afternoon, winning 55-07 as they split the 55 points in two even half’s of free flowing rugby.
This result saw the crusading team of ERC’69 elevate there position on to cloud 9 at the top of Division 3B. A much improved performance post December from Betuwe saw them close out various big names including the Big Bulls from Almelo by more than 60 points. The Betuwe RFC, enterprising free flowing open rugby definitely complimented the style of play adopted by the home team.
The first half, competitive as it was, gave no hint of the splendour that was to come in a contest that ceased to be a contest. The day was perfect. The ground was perfect. The crowd was large and expectant. Both sides started urgently. The Betuwe RFC had the first go, and pinned Enschede back in there own half for the first exchanges of the game. The home team is well known for their “never say die” defensive line and the Betuwe couldn’t find the crucial gap. Penalised for the second time Betuwe opted to kick for the posts. The kick was wide and Enschede’s own Shalk Burgen, Boooke Ankone took the ball up the heart of Betuwe defence, the ball was laid back to Full back Floris Carelsen who cleared. Enschede was penetrating at will which eventually resulted in a Line Out close to the Betuwe Try Line. In a move, that has to be coming of age, Tonny turtle Ter Braak much like a turtle peddling on his back plops over for the first Try. Robert Jan Dirty G misses the conversion because Turtle plopped over in the corner.
As the half proceeds ERC starts stringing together some combinations that would eventually result in a try from Utility Back Juan Weijers a.k.a Bat Doodle. The windy conditions make the task impossible for Dirty G.
The opening twenty minutes and the score is locked at 10-0. An infringement at the ruck by a bulky vulture modeling a flanker’s shirt gives the visitors a chance to reduce the deficit. The kick sails wild again and Enschede can clear. This doesn’t dampen the resolve in the visitor’s camp and they launch onslaught after onslaught on the home teams 22. Then captain Joris Veldmaat who is one of the youngest fly halfs in this clubs history decides that enough is enough, he wraps up his opposite number and removes his opposite number of the ball and pops the ball to a rampaging Rhino. In an act of lunacy, a trio of forwards, decide to embark on a magical journey out of the 22. Any coach north of the equator will tell his forwards to set up a ruck, not in Enschede. The Rhino named Bart No Nickname Kloosterman decides to pass his way out of trouble, much like a bunch of Fijian’s on Ruud’s crazy grass they swiftly move the ball out to Dirty G who cuts insides and takes the ball up to Betuwe’s danger zone. Ensuing moves take the ball to a HUGE overlap where Bat Doodle finds himself caught with the ball as the defence parts much like the red sea parted for Moses. Bat Doodle decides to doodle with the defence and takes the tourist route around the defence in a classic wingers try. Dirty G’s kick was once again caught in a tornado and the kick drifts “just” wide.
The strong, powerful and creative back three started to click and it was just a matter of time before the next try was to drop out of heaven. 38 minutes gone, a clean pair of heals and two steps later Floris “Percy” Carelsen dances his blond locks into the try area in front of the posts. The wind dies down and Dirty G sends the kick through the posts for his first points of the evening.
Half Time, some comments on the messiness of the exchanges has the captain seeking more structure from the troopers in the second half. Much like most requests from a captain, the troopers go out and do the opposite.
The second half gets underway and some players are caught with thoughts in the club house. The play has started to become disjointed. The next points were however to come from some brilliant backs play from Enschede again. Percy scoops (probably illegally but who cares) the ball out of the ruck into the hands of the Chinese speedster (Vincent Leenders), who up until then hadn’t caught a single ball all day. In an awesome display of champagne rugby he takes on the back line of Betuwe, he shows them the inside and then speeds around the outside shoulder of the stunned winger. He sees the big number 8 charging him down and decides to kick the ball hopelessly towards the fullback. The No. 8 decided not to put in the big tackle and the speedster is hungry for a try after unceremoniously kicking the ball away. He grabs the fumbling full back and much like an episode of Extreme Martial Arts, throws the full back to the ground. Foam sputtering from his mouth the speedster is practically handed the ball to stroll under the posts for his first try of the match. Dirty G finds his groove and slots the conversion. The poor full back who had been raped did not return to the game.
The Chinese speedster was still frothing at the mouth but the rest of the team was still thinking about which seat to occupy at the bar. Straight from the kick off the Betuwe were rewarded with a penalty from a good charging run from the No. 8. The windy hurricane conditions witnessed by Dirty G in the first half deferred the kick on the posts and Betuwe instead chose to run the ball. The ball was spun to the midfield and Enschede’s ensuing forwards with there minds firm on the beers in the club house were caught sleeping. The defence flew across the field like a bunch of drunken beer vultures with their wings clipped. The strong defence Enschede so proudly carried was breached for the first time in many a game. 24-7 in Enschede’s favor. This seemed to wake up the troopers and Enschede took the game forward.
The next exchange was from hard earned yards which eventually resulted in an overlap out wide. The overlap was ignored and Percy in a change of character chose to, not much unlike the not so bald Keith Woods, charge the ball through three players to dot down.
Vincent Leenders who somehow seems to forget how he scores his tries dotted down twice in the following exchanges taking the score to 48-7 thanks to two superbly struck conversions by Dirty G. Or were they infront of the posts?
The forwards had taken a step up and decided not to fly with their clipped wings but started making the hard yards. Taking the ball forward threw some punishing runs the pick and go options seemed to run out. The scrum half asked for runners for the ball, two questioning faces returned from the back line who really wanted the forwards to carry on sweating it out. Out of no where a cry came with an ensuing ground shaking rumble of power. Tommel the BFG cried out for the ball, he got the ball and punched through Betuwe’s trembling defenses. Freeing up his partner in crime, the Big, but not so Friendly Giant Aart Jan to take the ball one phase further. In an attempt to get the female contingent of the supporters crowd on their feet he ripped of his shorts. The effect wasn’t what he had hoped for, the female contingent turned in disgust and one lone supporter resembling Fester from The Addams Family (JJ) was left with a “naughty boy Gunter” smirk on his face.
There was enough time for more entertainment though. The female contingent got to there feet for one more show of awesome rugby. Enschede had a line-out in their 22, the Chinese speedster chipped caught the ball near the half way line. He brushed off three would be defenders and stepped the lone Betuwe winger silly before he dotted down crisply under the posts. I seriously doubt that is the way it happened but he did take the score to 53-7 with only the conversion left. Dirty G swirls the ball straight threw the uprights and finishes off with the last points of the game with 55-7.
All in all a hard worked victory for the champions of the third division. One slip up which cost them 5 points but an open game on a sunny day.
Man of the match:
How on earth do you distinguish between 19 exceptional players. Slottje phat calfs German should get it for not saying Tonny while running. Tonny turtle Ter Braak should get it for not saying Slottje phat calfs German while plopping over the line in a very ordinary try. Aart Jan for stripping in the vicinity of minors, with his track record with children we should be worried. Myself for forgetting all of the tries I scored. The real winners last Sunday were the people involved in any way with the game. Sun, Free flowing rugby and beer afterwards. Men of the Match, all 18 of us. The captain excluded because he abandoned his troops in a crucial stage of the match.
For ERC ‘69:
Tries: Vincent Leenders 4x, Juan 2x, Floris 2x, Tonny 1x (NOT 3x)
Cons: Robert Jan 5x
Tries: Bob Sagget 1x
Cons: Bob Sagget 1x
Stats eerste helft:
lineout betuwe 4 gewonnen, 2 verloren
lineout erc 6 gewonnen, 1 verloren
scrum betuwe, 5 gewonnen, 2 verloren
scrum erc, 2 gewonnen en verloren
pen, 5 erc, 2 betuwe
Stats tweede helft:
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